/ 11:33:00 PM

I am not taking it back.



I've read pretty good reviews about Intolerable Cruelty and Mystic River lately. Like how the Coen brothers did good with their irreverent showcase of black humor. And how the cast of Mystic River are gonna be frontrunners in the next Oscar derby.



Bah.



I still find George Clooney's turn as Miles Massey way over the top and Catherine ZJ's Marilyn Rexroth way too much of a calculating ice queen to actually dupe men into marrying her. Nope, still no chemistry. And while Sean Penn et. al may be looking at the possibility of a winning streak come awards season, I'm still placing their film under the uninspired and incredibly boring category.



But hey, go and watch the films yourselves. Don't take my word for it. After so many years of movie "buffing," I've truly become one of those jaded "creeticks" who has the tendency to nitpick a movie to no end. These days, I try my hardest not to do that anymore. But I still have my moments. Old habits die hard.



In this case, I am still standing by my opinion. Not expecting anyone to share mine though. To-mah-to. Toe-mey-toe. Weh. Whutever. Kamatis pa ren yan di ba? =p



~^~^~^~^~



Plot Bunnies: An Update



I was supposed to start working on the tvblog last, last weekend. Alas, I got sidetracked. Yes, by the Bunnies.



But I gotta admit that there's actually one good thing that came out of the Hellish Weekend That Was. It dulled nearly all of my five primary senses but it was able to awaken my long dormant zeal for the writen word.



I was having the hardest time getting to sleep that Friday evening. I was sneezing and wheezing. I couldn't breathe properly. Lying down wasn't even a viable option. All the more that I couldn't breathe. So what's a gurl to do? Well, we're out of double A batteries so the discman/walkman was immediately crossed off the list. And music was never a good downer for me anyway. I get more hyper. And it makes me wanna sing along... which, again, was simply not possible. What with my usually chipmunk-y voice sounding like a cross between Macy Gray and Jaya (or even Inday Garutay)... So I got out my doodle notebook. At shempre, notebook raw talaga ang naisipan kong butingtingin. *coughs-geek-coughs* At 1 in the freakin' morning. Yeah, Weird Little Gurl that I am. And then I began leafing through old scribbles looking for, I don't know, something. That was when I came across the plot bunnies section. Outlines upon outlines of csi scenarios that would be good fodder for possible mini-fics.



Nope, I haven't written fanfics before. As much as I love to write (or ramble.. whichever way you would wish to interpret it), I've never been one of those pipol who could create magic with words and weave it into wonderful plot-driven pieces. Now, commentaries, essays and critiques... that I can manage.. I say bring it on! But novels? Meep. I'm sorry. I just suck at phrasing dialogues in a non-script format. It's like after using words such as replied, answered, uttered, retorted, etc, etc.., I simply run out of verbs to use that would convey the same meaning. And don't get me started on the blasted adjectives. I get so lost in the play of words that I simply have no energy in me left to actually focus on the plot.



So, as a personal rule, I keep away from writing fiction. I don't do stories. It's a nagging piece of evidence of my glaring inadequacy. Simply put, it scares me. To rephrase, I'm a coward.



But back to Friday night (or technically speaking, very early Saturday morning)....



A highly-medicated Meowl thought it would be a great idea to write out a scene that was playing out in her head over and over again. Yes, it must be the meds that made her do it. I could think of no other reason but that.



So sometime between 1 and 2 at the break of dawn, my very first baby was "conceived." (Yes, I was alone. lolx.) Nearly an hour later, and half-satisfied with what I came up with, I finally felt that I was through with brainstorming. That I could leave everything up for the revising part. Revision, after all, is the mother of every composition. Comforted by that thought, I let med-induced slumber take over me. Fell asleep with the lights on and the notebook by my bedside. And it wasn't until several hours later that she (yes, I'd like to think of her as a she) got to see the light of the online community.



Saturday evening took care of this whole task of revision. I let myself take a breather for most part of the day. And when I say "breather," I actually meant I was reading fanfics over those non-csi fandoms. Straining my eyes looking for good SS/HG HP fics. (Found none that "passed" my standards, btw.) So after doing everything I can think of to delay the inevitable, I finally set out to edit the draft. And after I was done butchering my own work, I prolly retained about 50% of what I originally wrote down. ^_^ And then after everything has been typed up and proofread to bits.. came the hard part: To post or not to post? But of course, I was planning on posting it.. I was just having second (or was it third.. or fourth..) thoughts about actually doing it..



No, hiding behind the "meds" excuse wasn't gonna cut it anymore. I was more lucid at that point. Lucid enough to semi-panic at the prospect of putting myself out there.. up for scrutiny.. vulnerable against brickbats... Even if it is of the "anonymous" kind. I swear, getting flamed would definitely leave me scarred for life (or at least, for a very long time). My muse will probably drop dead. Only for it to rise from the ashes to die a slow agonizing death the second time around. Definitely.Not.Pretty.



But what the hey.. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.. right? So I took the plunge and gave one final click at the "post" button of the graveshift group. And I waited for the flame. The flame that ohmygoodness, thank you lord! never came. Lucky for me, the graveshift crew are such a nice and accepting bunch. I have no way of knowing how many people read it (let alone, liked it) but I got about four to five feedbacks which is good enuf for me. And I will forever be grateful to those people who actually took time to post or email me what they thought of the fic. ^_^




Baby Steps



But I still don't feel less of a coward. Coz what I actually wrote wasn't even a full-fledged fic. Well, technically, it falls under the fan fiction category, so I guess it is a fanfic. But it's not like the "novel-ish plot-driven sequences with actual dialogues" piece of work that I would kill for.



It was more of a vignette/drabble kind of thing. A drabble's kinda like a character's internal dialogue put into words. Call it a commentary if you wish. Only diff is that the thoughts are supposed to be theirs. It's me getting into their heads and internalizing their thoughts. Making my thoughts their own in a way that is not far from their own personalities and how the characters were originally written. Heh. Come to think of it, what I did was pretty much 75% psychoanalysis. Times like these when it occurs to me that mayhaps I wasn't entirely outta my mind when I chose my course four years ago.



But since I was still writing from the 1st person POV, I still feel like it was cheating.



But I'm not letting that rain on my parade. Not to a certain extent. It might not be the story I was hoping I could write, but at least it's a start. For now, what's important to me is that I got around to putting one of my WTDs into reality. And that's one conquered fear crossed off the list. It wouldn't be such a big deal on my part if it weren't such a terrifying thing for me to do. Yes, I have writing issues. But that's a different story altogether.



Nope, not gonna post the fic here. In my yet to be launched tvblog, perhaps. But I found out that aside from the yahoogroups, the fic is archived here as well. *woot woot* I am now part of a fanfic archive. ^_^ That's me having a silly smiley moment.




Baby One More Time



They say that it gets easier the second time around.


Not.By.A.Long.Shot.



My second baby got posted early this week. It even took me longer coz it was shorter than the first. *Heh. Minds off the gutter!* Got more time to nitpick, reword and reshuffle until it doesn't look like the one I drafted anymore. And while the first one was angst-y, I tried my hand with a little bit 'o humor with this one.




And The Hits Keep On Coming...



Baby #3 said hello last Friday afternoon. What can I say.. I was bored! And it took me just an hour to draft, revise and have it posted to the group. Might've cut back on the time had I not made it into a double-drabble (which means it has to be exactly 100 words). One hour ba kamo? Uy, mabilis na yun ha. Meowl-standard. =p




...And Coming



Worked on the fourth one last night (or was it very early morning na). Yeah, there ya go.. I'm not called me-"owl" for nothing. I didn't purposely seek out to write a fic or anything.. just that the words wouldn't stop coming. I can't help it. And tis hard to ignore the Muse. Baka magtampo eh. Mahirap na. =p



Anyhoo, I haven't touched the draft/outline since then. New ideas keep on coming at the oddest times during the day (like when I'm eating or brushing my teeth. heh) so I still don't know where I'm gonna go with the fic's premise. I found out that angst fic is right up my alley.. but on the other hand, it is Christmas after all. So maybe I'll make this one a tad cheerier. Or not.



~^~^~^~^~



Sound3p



I don't get to have current LSSs anymore.



Used to be that I was "in the know" when it comes to current chart toppers. And now my radio listening habits have been reduced to cabbie AM fare and/or the standard FM stations during those homebound shuttle rides. Hehe. Methinks I've become more familiar with the Otso Otso song than that of whatever tune is lording it over 89.9. Meh.



What To Do When You're Stuck In A Public Transpo Tuned In To A Sucky Station With Cheesy Tunes Galore:

a) Just go with the flow. The manong won't change the station and most of the passengers seem to be enjoying the songs anyway. Think of it as an exercise in patience and a sacrifice for the greater good. And then add a silent prayer that you don't end up humming said cheesy songs the whole morning while at work.

b) Think happy thoughts. Like plotting the impending demise of a certain driver. Think of it as an exercise in cunning and creativity. And then add a silent prayer that you don't end up humming said cheesy songs the whole morning while at work.

c) Fume over how stupid lyrics get to be number one songs. Think of it as an exercise in boosting your analytical skills and unraveling the human psyche. And then add a silent prayer that you don't end up humming said cheesy songs the whole morning while at work.



Me? I've learned a long time ago that the best thing to do is to not fight it. Sanayan lang naman yan eh. Laking Baclaran yata 'toh! =p Or you could spend so much energy getting pissed off. And still end up with a nasty LSS at work. ^_^

PROFILE: I am blah from class here and is born on 00/00/00, time. and so love me like this. I was so cute, I am totally an element that you'd never ever known, you can;t find it in the periodic table cause no one has even found it- I explode in your face just like potassium when it touches water, it's really explosive, you should really run away first before I do spark into flames and burn you alive! I love blasting my music as well, when love sync (elissa) let me hear Cry-Rihanna, i have been like addicted to it like drugs- oh wait. it's worse than drugs, it's better, more addictive than drugs. listen to that song! and this is one of my last blogskin that i will produce until the EOYs of 2008, cause i flunked Biology, ARGHS! OMG I SURE DIE LIKE !@#$% and i am emo now like under ltos of peer pressure and bad seniors.



having been in hwa chong institution (just like make it long so you can preview a long post or wad that fits right down underneath which i think i shall crap all day today) my eyes have been wanting to close since 20:00 (8PM)), I was so tired, cause the syllabus in hwachong is really so hard that no one can sleep really well. The new CSE classes (aka. Centre for Scholaristic Excellence) and is also known for it's famous nickname Cannot Sleep Everyday or Early. Is like even the teachers know, so the homework is reduced, but it's like OMG! will die, this year already so hard, next year i say "die!" mati already lar. arghs!NEXT, A RIOT OF COLORS, WHAT DO YOU THINK OF ME. AND I KNOW THAT I BRUISE EASILY. LEAP OF FATE LIKE i never know and i'm learning to fly and a safety net to cushion the blow. and i feel so suicidal and note "I BRUISE EASILY" and be gentle when you handle me.




hello once again, i have been having nightmares,no one is doing work for my project , whcih is true. supposed to do "family planning" is like whatever lar, when will we be able to use it not like very soon we are gonna have kids, settle down, earn money have NSman relief or whatsoever or even Children Relief, is like wtf. I am eating CIGAR ROLLS, they are vilina flavoured and jsut finished my bowl of ice cream which tasted so mixed, haha btu it was ncie to me (: I like mix of flavours liek suddenly a RIOT of colors and A EXPLOSION of taste! I mean like it's really impactful come to think about it, and cause my project has to be handed in by friday so i shall rush typign finish this retarded paragraph. like hello! ello! buhello! darkdegree will go on HIATUS soon. and i am so emo, i feel like slashing my wrist now, it's true adn don't look down on me for that i know people discriminate.

see you there at hiatus land.

/ 11:33:00 PM

I am not taking it back.



I've read pretty good reviews about Intolerable Cruelty and Mystic River lately. Like how the Coen brothers did good with their irreverent showcase of black humor. And how the cast of Mystic River are gonna be frontrunners in the next Oscar derby.



Bah.



I still find George Clooney's turn as Miles Massey way over the top and Catherine ZJ's Marilyn Rexroth way too much of a calculating ice queen to actually dupe men into marrying her. Nope, still no chemistry. And while Sean Penn et. al may be looking at the possibility of a winning streak come awards season, I'm still placing their film under the uninspired and incredibly boring category.



But hey, go and watch the films yourselves. Don't take my word for it. After so many years of movie "buffing," I've truly become one of those jaded "creeticks" who has the tendency to nitpick a movie to no end. These days, I try my hardest not to do that anymore. But I still have my moments. Old habits die hard.



In this case, I am still standing by my opinion. Not expecting anyone to share mine though. To-mah-to. Toe-mey-toe. Weh. Whutever. Kamatis pa ren yan di ba? =p



~^~^~^~^~



Plot Bunnies: An Update



I was supposed to start working on the tvblog last, last weekend. Alas, I got sidetracked. Yes, by the Bunnies.



But I gotta admit that there's actually one good thing that came out of the Hellish Weekend That Was. It dulled nearly all of my five primary senses but it was able to awaken my long dormant zeal for the writen word.



I was having the hardest time getting to sleep that Friday evening. I was sneezing and wheezing. I couldn't breathe properly. Lying down wasn't even a viable option. All the more that I couldn't breathe. So what's a gurl to do? Well, we're out of double A batteries so the discman/walkman was immediately crossed off the list. And music was never a good downer for me anyway. I get more hyper. And it makes me wanna sing along... which, again, was simply not possible. What with my usually chipmunk-y voice sounding like a cross between Macy Gray and Jaya (or even Inday Garutay)... So I got out my doodle notebook. At shempre, notebook raw talaga ang naisipan kong butingtingin. *coughs-geek-coughs* At 1 in the freakin' morning. Yeah, Weird Little Gurl that I am. And then I began leafing through old scribbles looking for, I don't know, something. That was when I came across the plot bunnies section. Outlines upon outlines of csi scenarios that would be good fodder for possible mini-fics.



Nope, I haven't written fanfics before. As much as I love to write (or ramble.. whichever way you would wish to interpret it), I've never been one of those pipol who could create magic with words and weave it into wonderful plot-driven pieces. Now, commentaries, essays and critiques... that I can manage.. I say bring it on! But novels? Meep. I'm sorry. I just suck at phrasing dialogues in a non-script format. It's like after using words such as replied, answered, uttered, retorted, etc, etc.., I simply run out of verbs to use that would convey the same meaning. And don't get me started on the blasted adjectives. I get so lost in the play of words that I simply have no energy in me left to actually focus on the plot.



So, as a personal rule, I keep away from writing fiction. I don't do stories. It's a nagging piece of evidence of my glaring inadequacy. Simply put, it scares me. To rephrase, I'm a coward.



But back to Friday night (or technically speaking, very early Saturday morning)....



A highly-medicated Meowl thought it would be a great idea to write out a scene that was playing out in her head over and over again. Yes, it must be the meds that made her do it. I could think of no other reason but that.



So sometime between 1 and 2 at the break of dawn, my very first baby was "conceived." (Yes, I was alone. lolx.) Nearly an hour later, and half-satisfied with what I came up with, I finally felt that I was through with brainstorming. That I could leave everything up for the revising part. Revision, after all, is the mother of every composition. Comforted by that thought, I let med-induced slumber take over me. Fell asleep with the lights on and the notebook by my bedside. And it wasn't until several hours later that she (yes, I'd like to think of her as a she) got to see the light of the online community.



Saturday evening took care of this whole task of revision. I let myself take a breather for most part of the day. And when I say "breather," I actually meant I was reading fanfics over those non-csi fandoms. Straining my eyes looking for good SS/HG HP fics. (Found none that "passed" my standards, btw.) So after doing everything I can think of to delay the inevitable, I finally set out to edit the draft. And after I was done butchering my own work, I prolly retained about 50% of what I originally wrote down. ^_^ And then after everything has been typed up and proofread to bits.. came the hard part: To post or not to post? But of course, I was planning on posting it.. I was just having second (or was it third.. or fourth..) thoughts about actually doing it..



No, hiding behind the "meds" excuse wasn't gonna cut it anymore. I was more lucid at that point. Lucid enough to semi-panic at the prospect of putting myself out there.. up for scrutiny.. vulnerable against brickbats... Even if it is of the "anonymous" kind. I swear, getting flamed would definitely leave me scarred for life (or at least, for a very long time). My muse will probably drop dead. Only for it to rise from the ashes to die a slow agonizing death the second time around. Definitely.Not.Pretty.



But what the hey.. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.. right? So I took the plunge and gave one final click at the "post" button of the graveshift group. And I waited for the flame. The flame that ohmygoodness, thank you lord! never came. Lucky for me, the graveshift crew are such a nice and accepting bunch. I have no way of knowing how many people read it (let alone, liked it) but I got about four to five feedbacks which is good enuf for me. And I will forever be grateful to those people who actually took time to post or email me what they thought of the fic. ^_^




Baby Steps



But I still don't feel less of a coward. Coz what I actually wrote wasn't even a full-fledged fic. Well, technically, it falls under the fan fiction category, so I guess it is a fanfic. But it's not like the "novel-ish plot-driven sequences with actual dialogues" piece of work that I would kill for.



It was more of a vignette/drabble kind of thing. A drabble's kinda like a character's internal dialogue put into words. Call it a commentary if you wish. Only diff is that the thoughts are supposed to be theirs. It's me getting into their heads and internalizing their thoughts. Making my thoughts their own in a way that is not far from their own personalities and how the characters were originally written. Heh. Come to think of it, what I did was pretty much 75% psychoanalysis. Times like these when it occurs to me that mayhaps I wasn't entirely outta my mind when I chose my course four years ago.



But since I was still writing from the 1st person POV, I still feel like it was cheating.



But I'm not letting that rain on my parade. Not to a certain extent. It might not be the story I was hoping I could write, but at least it's a start. For now, what's important to me is that I got around to putting one of my WTDs into reality. And that's one conquered fear crossed off the list. It wouldn't be such a big deal on my part if it weren't such a terrifying thing for me to do. Yes, I have writing issues. But that's a different story altogether.



Nope, not gonna post the fic here. In my yet to be launched tvblog, perhaps. But I found out that aside from the yahoogroups, the fic is archived here as well. *woot woot* I am now part of a fanfic archive. ^_^ That's me having a silly smiley moment.




Baby One More Time



They say that it gets easier the second time around.


Not.By.A.Long.Shot.



My second baby got posted early this week. It even took me longer coz it was shorter than the first. *Heh. Minds off the gutter!* Got more time to nitpick, reword and reshuffle until it doesn't look like the one I drafted anymore. And while the first one was angst-y, I tried my hand with a little bit 'o humor with this one.




And The Hits Keep On Coming...



Baby #3 said hello last Friday afternoon. What can I say.. I was bored! And it took me just an hour to draft, revise and have it posted to the group. Might've cut back on the time had I not made it into a double-drabble (which means it has to be exactly 100 words). One hour ba kamo? Uy, mabilis na yun ha. Meowl-standard. =p




...And Coming



Worked on the fourth one last night (or was it very early morning na). Yeah, there ya go.. I'm not called me-"owl" for nothing. I didn't purposely seek out to write a fic or anything.. just that the words wouldn't stop coming. I can't help it. And tis hard to ignore the Muse. Baka magtampo eh. Mahirap na. =p



Anyhoo, I haven't touched the draft/outline since then. New ideas keep on coming at the oddest times during the day (like when I'm eating or brushing my teeth. heh) so I still don't know where I'm gonna go with the fic's premise. I found out that angst fic is right up my alley.. but on the other hand, it is Christmas after all. So maybe I'll make this one a tad cheerier. Or not.



~^~^~^~^~



Sound3p



I don't get to have current LSSs anymore.



Used to be that I was "in the know" when it comes to current chart toppers. And now my radio listening habits have been reduced to cabbie AM fare and/or the standard FM stations during those homebound shuttle rides. Hehe. Methinks I've become more familiar with the Otso Otso song than that of whatever tune is lording it over 89.9. Meh.



What To Do When You're Stuck In A Public Transpo Tuned In To A Sucky Station With Cheesy Tunes Galore:

a) Just go with the flow. The manong won't change the station and most of the passengers seem to be enjoying the songs anyway. Think of it as an exercise in patience and a sacrifice for the greater good. And then add a silent prayer that you don't end up humming said cheesy songs the whole morning while at work.

b) Think happy thoughts. Like plotting the impending demise of a certain driver. Think of it as an exercise in cunning and creativity. And then add a silent prayer that you don't end up humming said cheesy songs the whole morning while at work.

c) Fume over how stupid lyrics get to be number one songs. Think of it as an exercise in boosting your analytical skills and unraveling the human psyche. And then add a silent prayer that you don't end up humming said cheesy songs the whole morning while at work.



Me? I've learned a long time ago that the best thing to do is to not fight it. Sanayan lang naman yan eh. Laking Baclaran yata 'toh! =p Or you could spend so much energy getting pissed off. And still end up with a nasty LSS at work. ^_^